You’re Holding My Hand

You hugged me, okay.

Hugs are a cultural friendship thing.

Hard to get used to–but okay.

But then, not looking,

You held my hand.

No, you can’t do that.

First, you take away my defenses.

Second, my hand will taint you.

No, you can’t do that.

John Denver, in a song,

“Take my hand and say you’ll follow me…”

No, you can’t do that.

No one takes my hand, no one follows me.

You say with eyes and words,

“I love you. I care.”

I pull away, afraid for me, for you.

And yet, you reach out.

I wonder. I tremble.

Do you know what this means?

Maybe…maybe… because…

You’re holding my hand.


My name is Squeaker Squirrel.

Here I am.

Alone on the floor.

Staring at the ceiling.

Why? How? What?

Rot Rat runs by, stops.

Looks at me.

“Maybe you think too much,” he states.


Heart Cries

So many things touch hearts–

a smile, a shared tear, one hand placed on another’s.

Music that was once shared with another,

pulls the heart back to a peaceful place.

Smiles from those who have naught but a smile to offer,

a wink of an eye, settles in the heart.

And then the pictures of children crying,

behind a fence, eyes holding more sadness than bearable.

Friends and families hugging each other as bodies are pulled

from the scene of yet another mass murder.

Eyes that watch, scared, fearful for self and others

haunt the one whose eyes they look into, questioning why?

Action can be taken, “boots on the ground”

to do what can be done to ease fear, pain, heartache for others.

But what was seen cannot be unseen

and the heart never can shut out the pain.

Remembered forever

the Heart Cries.

Peace over Happiness

We THOUGHT we wanted happiness–

Happiness of fun, roaming free, no bad news.

Then our old man, our protector,

told us he loved us, just didn’t know how to show it.

He told us he had felt our love for him,

our strength in that love.

He told us we mattered to him,

no matter how much he railed at us.

We realized he meant it,

he was trying to share his heart.

And we felt Peace, knowing he knew

we loved him

and he truly loved us.

We realized that was what we wanted all along–

Peace over happiness.

Peace in loving and being loved.


To float between realms requires much,

as in a willingness to traverse time and space.

One must be willing to let go of the present,

yet be part of it.

One must let go of the past,

yet be part of it.

Floating means remembering,

the good and the bad–

Taking each for what it is.

The head will ache as will the heart

no matter which realm pulls one in.

Once you float, there is no

going back to the linear time line.

One can learn or lose.

Time becomes a labyrinth be traveled

and all realms are open to you.

Choose wisely when you float because

floating leaves you open and vulnerable

to everything and everyone–

past and present.

Watching Sara

Sara is tired, sleeping more and more.

The heat saps her, making it hard to breathe.

Our hearts overflow with love for her,

wanting to ease her sleep.

She has been with us more than 15 years,

her heart is struggling to keep her here.

We watch, counting her slow breaths,

softly rubbing her velvety ears,

gently moving our hands to her tummy.

We love you for you, dear sweet Sara,

but we cannot keep you with us and we know

you will know when it is time to leave.

We watch you, dear baby Sara

and treasure every moment you share with us.

Love is painful and beautiful–

and so we watch.

You will not be alone lovely Sara.

We will watch and love you forever and for always.

“You just want to be touched…”

You just want to be touched.

Why don’t you reach out and touch?

You breathe in the chimera –absorbing,

pulling it in–but you’re afraid to touch.

The skyline, the crows, the donkeys,

rocks, trails, shimmering whispering leaves–

A breeze free of djinns,

uphill, downhill…

You just want to be touched.

Soft, barely breaths–

the overwhelming goodness, chimera

leaves you wondering, in awe.

What happens now?

And does it matter?

Just connect–some way–some how.

SEE the People

The leader of the United States wants people who are not white, christian, moneyed to go back to where they came from. He likes it that way, and so do his supporters. Obviously. But if you look around, and SEE the people around you, what will you do if they do leave?

Who will manicure his numerous golf courses? Who will staff his lavish dinners at his private clubs? Who will clean his toilets, do his laundry? Who will care for his grandchildren, his underage child? Who will staff his border concentration camps? Who will provide the fruits of the land and bring them to his table? Who will fry his KFC or flip his burgers, cook his fries?

How will the private prison owners/CEOs make any money if there are no more people to jail and hold because they left and are not a profit making populace? What will happen to big oil companies when only rich white christian people are driving gas guzzlers and the demand for fossil fuels goes down?

How will schools survive when the students and teachers leave? Who will drive the busses? Who will manage the little stores? Who will clean the PG&E buildings? More important, who will be the slaves for the leader and his followers when the people leave? And don’t be naive, they need slaves to their wishes and whims.

Who will take care of our health? How many white christian doctors are out there? We don’t have one that would qualify to stay. Who will be in his army, our military services? Not many we bet. How far will this “GO BACK WHERE YOU CAME FROM” ripple out globally? The leader stated he would welcome Norwegians, but they have no desire to come here. Why would they?

But more, what happens to friends, friends who are now family? How many people will you lose? What would happen, as an example, to Writers of Kern? How many writers, talented people, would be gone from WOK if they leave, as instructed? Lindsey Graham said if they wear a MAGA hat they can stay. Can you be a writer and not dissent in anyway against the current leadership, sporting a MAGA hat so you can stay in the USA? Can you chant, “send her back” and show support for the leadership as friends and neighbors disappear?

It is time to SEE the people that make up this United States. It is time to SEE that person as a PERSON– not a color, a sexual orientation, a religion that only the leader will accept. SEE the soul! SEE the essence, the beauty of the individual. Color, gender, religion, ethnicity are not the person! We gravitate towards those we appreciate, SEE, and care about. Sure, you aren’t going to like everyone, but they are–after all–a human being! SEE them as that first then go with your likes and dislikes regarding their actions, their essence! NOT where they come from, their color, their religion and all the other petty things that keep us from KNOWING AND APPRECIATING others! Then look around you. NOTICE and SEE the people you help, that help YOU, everyday and in all ways. The cooks at your favorite restaurant or cafe, the clerk at the 7-11, your mechanic, your health provider. Then look at your circle of friends. Do you want all these people gone? Sent back? Do you who are white christian followers want to pick up the slack? Are you ready to be the new slaves to the white christian rich? Somebody has to take care of them, keep that money in their pockets while you work for them, your job, and the job vacated by the ones sent back.

We have too many friends, neighbors, loved ones that would leave. We couldn’t live without their caring, their kindnesses. We would want to leave, too. But we don’t know where we would be sent back to. We are mixed heritage–where will we be sent for dissenting against the leader? Oh well, anywhere would be better than here if all our friends and teachers and people we love are gone. We will miss so much. And you will, too, if we don’t SEE each other.

You Were Once a Baby

Once you were a baby,

soft, pliant, and tender skinned.

Others fed you, clothed you, kept you from harm.

You couldn’t ask for help, but it was given.

And you grew.

Your little heart responded in kind to the way you were treated.

As you grew, you started to choose.

YOU chose anger, a closed heart,

caring only for yourself–hate.

We feel sorry for you.

We see potential goodness in others, you see enemies.

We have hope, you have angry despair.

You choose to be alone, afraid of being “taken”

and you need approval for your hate.

We feel sorry for you.

You COULD HAVE learned love, kindness, compassion.

All babies can–but the murderers, the tyrants and dictators

were all once babies, as you were.

A lesson for those who choose love over hate?

Compassion and kindness over cruelty?

One and all, we must love the babies and children

to raise kind and compassionate adults.

Can we? We were all once babies.

Things Learned

“Stop crying! Only sissies and babies cry!”

No more tears came. Age 3.

“Quit sucking your thumb! People will think you’re a baby!”

No more self-nurturing. Age 7.

“Stop biting your nails! Look how ugly your hands look!”

Try to hide our hands. Age 7……….

“Get that make-up off! You look like you’ve been sucking a sow!”

Never use make-up again. Age 14.

“Eat more! You don’t even look like a girl you’re so skinny!”

Eat everything in sight and wear disguising clothes. Age 7…………

“Get your teeth fixed and don’t smile! You look ugly!”

Pull the teeth, endure the pain. Adulthood.

Learned self hate. Learned worthlessness. Learned shame.

Then they said, “Don’t be seen with black kids, brown kids, queers,”

And we couldn’t do it.

We couldn’t pass the hate on.

We knew and know what it feels like and we refused.

Self hate doesn’t have to be pushed onto others.

Instead, “I know. I love you for you,” is what we say now.

The hate for others was something we never learned.

Love you! You’re good enough for us!