Peace over Happiness

We THOUGHT we wanted happiness–

Happiness of fun, roaming free, no bad news.

Then our old man, our protector,

told us he loved us, just didn’t know how to show it.

He told us he had felt our love for him,

our strength in that love.

He told us we mattered to him,

no matter how much he railed at us.

We realized he meant it,

he was trying to share his heart.

And we felt Peace, knowing he knew

we loved him

and he truly loved us.

We realized that was what we wanted all along–

Peace over happiness.

Peace in loving and being loved.


To float between realms requires much,

as in a willingness to traverse time and space.

One must be willing to let go of the present,

yet be part of it.

One must let go of the past,

yet be part of it.

Floating means remembering,

the good and the bad–

Taking each for what it is.

The head will ache as will the heart

no matter which realm pulls one in.

Once you float, there is no

going back to the linear time line.

One can learn or lose.

Time becomes a labyrinth be traveled

and all realms are open to you.

Choose wisely when you float because

floating leaves you open and vulnerable

to everything and everyone–

past and present.

Watching Sara

Sara is tired, sleeping more and more.

The heat saps her, making it hard to breathe.

Our hearts overflow with love for her,

wanting to ease her sleep.

She has been with us more than 15 years,

her heart is struggling to keep her here.

We watch, counting her slow breaths,

softly rubbing her velvety ears,

gently moving our hands to her tummy.

We love you for you, dear sweet Sara,

but we cannot keep you with us and we know

you will know when it is time to leave.

We watch you, dear baby Sara

and treasure every moment you share with us.

Love is painful and beautiful–

and so we watch.

You will not be alone lovely Sara.

We will watch and love you forever and for always.

“You just want to be touched…”

You just want to be touched.

Why don’t you reach out and touch?

You breathe in the chimera –absorbing,

pulling it in–but you’re afraid to touch.

The skyline, the crows, the donkeys,

rocks, trails, shimmering whispering leaves–

A breeze free of djinns,

uphill, downhill…

You just want to be touched.

Soft, barely breaths–

the overwhelming goodness, chimera

leaves you wondering, in awe.

What happens now?

And does it matter?

Just connect–some way–some how.

SEE the People

The leader of the United States wants people who are not white, christian, moneyed to go back to where they came from. He likes it that way, and so do his supporters. Obviously. But if you look around, and SEE the people around you, what will you do if they do leave?

Who will manicure his numerous golf courses? Who will staff his lavish dinners at his private clubs? Who will clean his toilets, do his laundry? Who will care for his grandchildren, his underage child? Who will staff his border concentration camps? Who will provide the fruits of the land and bring them to his table? Who will fry his KFC or flip his burgers, cook his fries?

How will the private prison owners/CEOs make any money if there are no more people to jail and hold because they left and are not a profit making populace? What will happen to big oil companies when only rich white christian people are driving gas guzzlers and the demand for fossil fuels goes down?

How will schools survive when the students and teachers leave? Who will drive the busses? Who will manage the little stores? Who will clean the PG&E buildings? More important, who will be the slaves for the leader and his followers when the people leave? And don’t be naive, they need slaves to their wishes and whims.

Who will take care of our health? How many white christian doctors are out there? We don’t have one that would qualify to stay. Who will be in his army, our military services? Not many we bet. How far will this “GO BACK WHERE YOU CAME FROM” ripple out globally? The leader stated he would welcome Norwegians, but they have no desire to come here. Why would they?

But more, what happens to friends, friends who are now family? How many people will you lose? What would happen, as an example, to Writers of Kern? How many writers, talented people, would be gone from WOK if they leave, as instructed? Lindsey Graham said if they wear a MAGA hat they can stay. Can you be a writer and not dissent in anyway against the current leadership, sporting a MAGA hat so you can stay in the USA? Can you chant, “send her back” and show support for the leadership as friends and neighbors disappear?

It is time to SEE the people that make up this United States. It is time to SEE that person as a PERSON– not a color, a sexual orientation, a religion that only the leader will accept. SEE the soul! SEE the essence, the beauty of the individual. Color, gender, religion, ethnicity are not the person! We gravitate towards those we appreciate, SEE, and care about. Sure, you aren’t going to like everyone, but they are–after all–a human being! SEE them as that first then go with your likes and dislikes regarding their actions, their essence! NOT where they come from, their color, their religion and all the other petty things that keep us from KNOWING AND APPRECIATING others! Then look around you. NOTICE and SEE the people you help, that help YOU, everyday and in all ways. The cooks at your favorite restaurant or cafe, the clerk at the 7-11, your mechanic, your health provider. Then look at your circle of friends. Do you want all these people gone? Sent back? Do you who are white christian followers want to pick up the slack? Are you ready to be the new slaves to the white christian rich? Somebody has to take care of them, keep that money in their pockets while you work for them, your job, and the job vacated by the ones sent back.

We have too many friends, neighbors, loved ones that would leave. We couldn’t live without their caring, their kindnesses. We would want to leave, too. But we don’t know where we would be sent back to. We are mixed heritage–where will we be sent for dissenting against the leader? Oh well, anywhere would be better than here if all our friends and teachers and people we love are gone. We will miss so much. And you will, too, if we don’t SEE each other.

You Were Once a Baby

Once you were a baby,

soft, pliant, and tender skinned.

Others fed you, clothed you, kept you from harm.

You couldn’t ask for help, but it was given.

And you grew.

Your little heart responded in kind to the way you were treated.

As you grew, you started to choose.

YOU chose anger, a closed heart,

caring only for yourself–hate.

We feel sorry for you.

We see potential goodness in others, you see enemies.

We have hope, you have angry despair.

You choose to be alone, afraid of being “taken”

and you need approval for your hate.

We feel sorry for you.

You COULD HAVE learned love, kindness, compassion.

All babies can–but the murderers, the tyrants and dictators

were all once babies, as you were.

A lesson for those who choose love over hate?

Compassion and kindness over cruelty?

One and all, we must love the babies and children

to raise kind and compassionate adults.

Can we? We were all once babies.

Things Learned

“Stop crying! Only sissies and babies cry!”

No more tears came. Age 3.

“Quit sucking your thumb! People will think you’re a baby!”

No more self-nurturing. Age 7.

“Stop biting your nails! Look how ugly your hands look!”

Try to hide our hands. Age 7……….

“Get that make-up off! You look like you’ve been sucking a sow!”

Never use make-up again. Age 14.

“Eat more! You don’t even look like a girl you’re so skinny!”

Eat everything in sight and wear disguising clothes. Age 7…………

“Get your teeth fixed and don’t smile! You look ugly!”

Pull the teeth, endure the pain. Adulthood.

Learned self hate. Learned worthlessness. Learned shame.

Then they said, “Don’t be seen with black kids, brown kids, queers,”

And we couldn’t do it.

We couldn’t pass the hate on.

We knew and know what it feels like and we refused.

Self hate doesn’t have to be pushed onto others.

Instead, “I know. I love you for you,” is what we say now.

The hate for others was something we never learned.

Love you! You’re good enough for us!


You had better get ready to unfriend us, slam us, tell us to go back where we came from. This piece is full of rage and tears that do not stop flowing.

We watched a video of a family torn apart by ICE. TODAY. It is a long video as the father of a family of three talked on the phone to get help and advice as his children cried, his wife cried and sobbed, and ultimately he was taken. This is NOT RIGHT! He will get no hearing, no justice, no plea in our courts. His is the fate of those others now caged in filth and squalor that VP Pence says is not so bad and the MORON in the white house–note it is the WHITE house–says they’re happy because it is so much better than what they had. We call BULLSHIT! It is a damn political stunt that the racist, pervert, misogynist, fraud in the white house is using to drum up hate amongst his dumbed-down base of voters. To him it is nothing more than a way to generate more hate and animosity toward a group of people he decided to target to show he is THE MAN. Well, fuck the man!

Human beings, of all colors, races, genders, sexual orientations, religions are HUMAN BEINGS! They are not pawns to be used to turn Christians to his way of thinking, pro-lifers to ignoring these lives, and haters to abuse and murder in inhuman treatment.

Whatever your political persuasion, right is right and wrong is wrong! You do NOT rip families apart! You do not tear infants and children from their parents’ arms. You do not decide because someone is not white they are to be targeted. Used for your personal means to an end! We see over and over again–the people who killed the Jews were following the LAW. The ones who defied the LAW put an end to it. It is time to defy the law, just as the one who sits in the white house does. The LAW means nothing to he and his cronies so should we not follow the example and defy it?

Human lives are being destroyed while the christians stand by and scream hateful epithets. White supremacists have a voice but only they have a voice. Dammit! This is America! Not a dictatorial or fascist country– but you wouldn’t know by what is going on.

Children would be taken from parents if they treated their children the way children are being treated in concentration camps. And yes, they are concentration camps. We cannot believe what is happening and being BRAGGED ABOUT!

It is time for the people to stand up and be counted. People who love others, people who have compassion, people who will not stand by and watch the genocide of people of color and/or those who speak up against it.

We are sick. Sick of watching a petulant adult use all the good that has been representative of our country, spin it, lie, and make it about nothing more than a means of self-gain and glorification.

If you can write, if you can paint or draw, if you can create music and words to resist this abhorrent state we are in–DO IT! You were given a talent for creativity–USE IT! Enough is enough. And if your neighbor has his/her door banged on by ICE, step up and stop them from being taken. Use that cell phone to call for help from those that can stop it!

Yes, we are enraged! Yes, we know we will offend. But at least we will not go quietly into the night never having said or done anything that would deter the hate and political plays being foisted on us right now. It has gone too far. We have been silent too long.

If you’re offended, get over it. At least you still have your family, children, loved ones. Others don’t and have little hope of EVER having them again.

Self Portrait

My body name is Judy. But I am not a name. I am a cynic, a reader, a writer. I am a critical thinker and a person of passion. I don’t easily trust, but I am loaded with empathy for those in pain, needing help, needing support and someone they can trust. I am a seeker of truth, of justice, of fairness and equality. I am the one who can be invisible or at the forefront with the loud voice. I am the clown who diffuses the tense situation with humor and laughter. I am the cryer over hurt animals, children, elders, the wounded and disabled. I am not my name. Few will recognize my name. But those who know me, who read what I write, know my soul, my willingness to listen and learn, my propensity to defend and make things right for others will see me. No, I have no nicknames, though I have been called many names in anger or hate. But that’s all right. If one person recognizes this body named Judy and gravitates towards it, smiling, feeling acceptance without judgement, why do I need a nickname? Or even a name? Let me make a difference. Let me spread Peace and Love.


The choices we make create a tear…

Should we do this? Should we do that?

Turning to books, to information to learn…

Scouring resources, prodding others for wisdom.

But the choice is ultimately ours–

And we are torn.

If we choose this…but what about that?

Now weigh the consequences.

Who will feel the affects of our choice?

Who will reap the long-lasting effects?

To balance the choice…

“We need the money.”

At what cost? To whom? How long?

Torn, our hearts try… and try…