Things Learned

“Stop crying! Only sissies and babies cry!”

No more tears came. Age 3.

“Quit sucking your thumb! People will think you’re a baby!”

No more self-nurturing. Age 7.

“Stop biting your nails! Look how ugly your hands look!”

Try to hide our hands. Age 7……….

“Get that make-up off! You look like you’ve been sucking a sow!”

Never use make-up again. Age 14.

“Eat more! You don’t even look like a girl you’re so skinny!”

Eat everything in sight and wear disguising clothes. Age 7…………

“Get your teeth fixed and don’t smile! You look ugly!”

Pull the teeth, endure the pain. Adulthood.

Learned self hate. Learned worthlessness. Learned shame.

Then they said, “Don’t be seen with black kids, brown kids, queers,”

And we couldn’t do it.

We couldn’t pass the hate on.

We knew and know what it feels like and we refused.

Self hate doesn’t have to be pushed onto others.

Instead, “I know. I love you for you,” is what we say now.

The hate for others was something we never learned.

Love you! You’re good enough for us!



You had better get ready to unfriend us, slam us, tell us to go back where we came from. This piece is full of rage and tears that do not stop flowing.

We watched a video of a family torn apart by ICE. TODAY. It is a long video as the father of a family of three talked on the phone to get help and advice as his children cried, his wife cried and sobbed, and ultimately he was taken. This is NOT RIGHT! He will get no hearing, no justice, no plea in our courts. His is the fate of those others now caged in filth and squalor that VP Pence says is not so bad and the MORON in the white house–note it is the WHITE house–says they’re happy because it is so much better than what they had. We call BULLSHIT! It is a damn political stunt that the racist, pervert, misogynist, fraud in the white house is using to drum up hate amongst his dumbed-down base of voters. To him it is nothing more than a way to generate more hate and animosity toward a group of people he decided to target to show he is THE MAN. Well, fuck the man!

Human beings, of all colors, races, genders, sexual orientations, religions are HUMAN BEINGS! They are not pawns to be used to turn Christians to his way of thinking, pro-lifers to ignoring these lives, and haters to abuse and murder in inhuman treatment.

Whatever your political persuasion, right is right and wrong is wrong! You do NOT rip families apart! You do not tear infants and children from their parents’ arms. You do not decide because someone is not white they are to be targeted. Used for your personal means to an end! We see over and over again–the people who killed the Jews were following the LAW. The ones who defied the LAW put an end to it. It is time to defy the law, just as the one who sits in the white house does. The LAW means nothing to he and his cronies so should we not follow the example and defy it?

Human lives are being destroyed while the christians stand by and scream hateful epithets. White supremacists have a voice but only they have a voice. Dammit! This is America! Not a dictatorial or fascist country– but you wouldn’t know by what is going on.

Children would be taken from parents if they treated their children the way children are being treated in concentration camps. And yes, they are concentration camps. We cannot believe what is happening and being BRAGGED ABOUT!

It is time for the people to stand up and be counted. People who love others, people who have compassion, people who will not stand by and watch the genocide of people of color and/or those who speak up against it.

We are sick. Sick of watching a petulant adult use all the good that has been representative of our country, spin it, lie, and make it about nothing more than a means of self-gain and glorification.

If you can write, if you can paint or draw, if you can create music and words to resist this abhorrent state we are in–DO IT! You were given a talent for creativity–USE IT! Enough is enough. And if your neighbor has his/her door banged on by ICE, step up and stop them from being taken. Use that cell phone to call for help from those that can stop it!

Yes, we are enraged! Yes, we know we will offend. But at least we will not go quietly into the night never having said or done anything that would deter the hate and political plays being foisted on us right now. It has gone too far. We have been silent too long.

If you’re offended, get over it. At least you still have your family, children, loved ones. Others don’t and have little hope of EVER having them again.

Self Portrait

My body name is Judy. But I am not a name. I am a cynic, a reader, a writer. I am a critical thinker and a person of passion. I don’t easily trust, but I am loaded with empathy for those in pain, needing help, needing support and someone they can trust. I am a seeker of truth, of justice, of fairness and equality. I am the one who can be invisible or at the forefront with the loud voice. I am the clown who diffuses the tense situation with humor and laughter. I am the cryer over hurt animals, children, elders, the wounded and disabled. I am not my name. Few will recognize my name. But those who know me, who read what I write, know my soul, my willingness to listen and learn, my propensity to defend and make things right for others will see me. No, I have no nicknames, though I have been called many names in anger or hate. But that’s all right. If one person recognizes this body named Judy and gravitates towards it, smiling, feeling acceptance without judgement, why do I need a nickname? Or even a name? Let me make a difference. Let me spread Peace and Love.


The choices we make create a tear…

Should we do this? Should we do that?

Turning to books, to information to learn…

Scouring resources, prodding others for wisdom.

But the choice is ultimately ours–

And we are torn.

If we choose this…but what about that?

Now weigh the consequences.

Who will feel the affects of our choice?

Who will reap the long-lasting effects?

To balance the choice…

“We need the money.”

At what cost? To whom? How long?

Torn, our hearts try… and try…


Did you check your phone for iOS updates?

Are you receiving SSI?

Some people are eligible for SNAP.

Did you apply for AFDC?

Did you convert your story to doc.x? or pdf?

Was the requirement for jpeg?

What is your tier for electricity?

How many lumens is that bulb?

Did you format that correctly?

Was that .org or .com?

Can you IM me?

Who do you use for wifi?

Copy and Paste.



Me: Can I just have a pen and paper?

A taco?

A book I can hold in my hands?

Oh, and where are my car keys?

You guys do whatever with whatever and I’ll watch.

Do I really need an atomic clock?

Maybe I need some bitcoin?


Joy in Grief

There were no words.

The heart was silent.

Tears rolled down cheeks,

and the heart bled.

Today words came, gave voice

to the heart’s grieving loss.

Your face before the wet eyes,

and a smile reached the mouth.

Your smiles, your hugs, your eyes

touched the heart softly, kindly.

Shadows of you, your smell,

your oh so gentle touch.

You live in the heart, vital, alive!

The mind rests and remembers.

Heart and mind cry once more,

but with JOY for what you left behind.

Independence day?

Yes, Independence day for those few…

White, straight, male, extravagantly rich.

KKK, White Nationalists, hate mongers,

enjoy their freedom to walk about and rape,

plunder, make up their own laws.

The rest of us?

Some in cages, children at that,

people of color, the poor,

veterans who fought for us and are left

on the streets and penniless,

people who have been marginalized

by sexual orientation/identity,

seniors and the sick,

farmers, people who realize they’ve been had…

and all the “regular” law abiding citizens,

find it hard to see independence at all.

We have to follow laws while the aforementioned

make their own laws.

We have to bear the burden of paying these

tyrants and supporting their parties,

golf trips, tariffs, parades.

Independence day?

For the few,

not the rest of us.

We are nothing.

We have no freedom.

Welcome to amerikka and good luck.

Because I Can’t See…

Because I can’t see,

I’m depending on you.

I can’t see you approaching,

so I depend on other senses.

I hear your voice

and gravitate toward you.

I smell you as you pass

and follow you.

You offer me treats,

but you need to touch my

mouth so I can take them.

You sit on the floor,

call my name.

I’m rewarded with belly rubs

and soft, kind words.

I am 16.

I am blind.

I am a beloved pet.

I’m depending on you,

your kindness, your understanding.

Because I can’t see.

The Enforcer

“Be sure you get gas.”

We will.

“Did you do the laundry and get the boys to help?”

Yes, I did and we did.

“Did you get the papers run off to verify income for me?”

Yes, we did and they are on the table, ready.

“Did you pay attention to what was said to the manager?”

Yes, we all listened.

“Did you get the kids their coloring book and pencils and crayons?”

Almost forgot but did remember.

“Did you set up ice water for this heat and running errands?”

No, but we will.

“Geez! do I have to tell you EVERYTHING?”

No words, just running to get ice water and make sure errand stuff is handy.

“Make a circle, and don’t waste time or gas.”

We will.

“Be sure you take notes at the doctor’s office.”

We always do.

“Let the dog out and relay your info.”


“What do you kids want for dinner and remember you have to eat it all.”

Silence at the thought of eating it all.


Whew! Supper is over.

“You did a good job coloring. Tomorrow draw your own pictures to color.”

Sighs. Then…

“Sue do we ever make you happy?” from our little girl.

A half-smile appears from the Enforcer.

“Why would I stay here to order you around if you didn’t?”

Our little girl smiles in return.

“I like it when you smile. Even if only a little,” our little girl says.

Another sly smile from Sue, then,

“Yeah, well don’t get used to it. We got work to do. Come on kid.”

We all smile–and get back to work.

That’s why we like our Enforcer.

She really does care about us.

Spirits CAN be Broken

They speak of horrendous conditions children and babies, literally babies, are living in. We hear of sickness, sleeping on floors, lack of food, children of tender ages being told to take care of even younger ones. We hear the defense that says Democrats are to blame. Debates need to take place to reform the immigration laws and processes. There needs to be better management within the corrupt system. Super! Great! But children are living in deplorable conditions and have less than the average pet owner bestows on their pets! This is sick, intentional cruelty.

ICE and the government have decided they will no longer keep track of deaths. Sound familiar? Remember your history? Read up on the dictators globally. Read up on genocides that have taken place. Read how many were brought up on crimes committed in these genocides and how they claimed they were “just following orders.” Remember how many stood by silently as others “followed orders.” Remember how families were torn apart, children slaughtered, human beings regarded as non-humans as they were tortured, abused, worked literally to death, then murdered. This is supposed to deter them from polluting the country they came to or called home or whatever was convenient as an excuse for inexcusable behavior. Sorry, but the last we heard, a human is a human, no matter how much you degrade or debase or name-call them vermin, etc. They are still a fellow human being.

A lot of hate has been spread. A lot of discrimination and politics have been thrust on all citizens of the USA. People have made choices. Some are all for what has occurred and many of those have committed hate crimes, mass murders, numerous offenses against their fellow persons in the name of a hate ideology. Many have chosen to watch, some have been upset, but choose to use the vote to stop the hate, etc. But the game has changed and now there is a choice to be made because lives are literally at stake–the lives of children.

Trump and his GOP blame the democrats. The democrats blame the current administration for its cruelty. Both are right. The democrats should have stopped this when family separations started. The current administration is to blame using cruelty to children as a “deterrent” to immigrants seeking asylum in the United States. Others are to blame, also. Regardless of political party, those that proudly carry the banner of being “Pro-Life” are or should be held accountable and responsible. These are little LIVES. Living beings that are innocents and have no idea what is happening to them nor why. Where are the Pro-Life people? Why are they not demanding that these lives are sacred? Surely as sacred as the fetus in a womb. The others are those that CLAIM Christianity. Where are those that claim to follow the teachings of Christ? He did not advocate let this child be taken care of and let the others rot in cages. At least not in the Bible that is in print currently. Would these Christians be thrilled to meet a returned to earth Christ if he were to return to see how these children are being treated but they do nothing, say nothing, to help or defend these children?

The others who must share in the responsibility of these children being held and abused and mistreated in these concentration camps that are supposed to deter immigration are those who stand by silently. They reason that there is nothing they can do. They reason it is not their children or grandchildren and yes, they are sorry, but life goes on. Vacations are still taken, road trips, weekends to relax. After all, it doesn’t personally affect them or theirs. So they will wait for the next election to vote out the offenders. And how many children die between then and now? How many spirits are broken irreparably in these cruel concentrations camps with atrocities being committed daily, hourly?

There is a wise person known to us that we sought counsel from in this since we were enraged and heartbroken over this cruelty to children–CHILDREN. This wise person was sad also, but said, “Each and every soul has the ability to choose. Not one person is denied making a choice. Those that choose to be cruel, to spread evil, hate and divisiveness make their choice. Those that choose to do nothing to stop it also make a choice. Those that try to stop it, change it, make a choice. All must live with the consequences of their choices. Sadly, silence and inaction as the choice reaps only more cruelty to the innocent and defenseless. But all do have that choice. Again, all will reap the consequences of their choices. And many will suffer for it.”

This was not comforting, but rather heartbreaking and frustrating. And yet, it was honest and true. We all do have choices. And we see how not only our decisions affect us, but also others. And others’ choices affect us individually. If I am a person of color and someone who is a white nationalist decides to harass or harm me, I have little recourse as a white officer of the law, or a white judge or jury, may feel the same as my attacker and simply allow it or enforce the same actions under the guise of justice. So their choices could very easily cost me my life and great damage to those who love me and are associated with me. Likewise, now we are looking at children suffering the consequences of choices made. Choices made by people in power and the average adult citizen. They are LIVING WITH THE CONSEQUENCES OF CHOICES MADE BY PEOPLE THEY WILL NEVER SEE. And yes, they too, these small souls, have a choice, too. Some will choose to keep hanging onto hope they will see their family members again–or they will simply give up because their spirits are broken. No child should have to choose between these two offered options. Let this sink in. The child can choose to hang onto hope or give up, broken by the choices adults made for them.

So what can be done? You can speak out. You can keep calling the legislators demanding action and quick action before more children are lost. You can write, paint, sing songs of protest when you can’t march or physically go to the camps or the seat of government. Choose to let your voice be heard however it can be or choose to be silent. Then live with the consequences.

It has been said that for evil to flourish, all it takes is for the good to be silent. Choose. Then live with it. Just remember, children are suffering and dying in the meantime.