#25 Spronk

From sunrise to sunset, the mind can be occupied with crossword puzzles, electronic games, going outside, coming inside, etc. For instance, we can go out and beckon the crows and even the small birds that hop around on the grass to keep one eye on us, the other looking for something to grab and fly off with. But the crows? They caw at us, swoop, letting us know they know we are out, and then lighting on a lamp post or the mailbox to turn and caw out, “Still watching?” And we drink our coffee and we do watch. But from dusk, then the darkness, we may go out briefly, but then go back in to read, watch TV, and the mind wonders and wanders. We come up with some really cool topics to blog about after we reach a certain place behind our shuttered eyelids. Sometimes we come up with a whole novel, novella, essay in that land of words. Some are funny, some are depressing, some are just plain weird! Like last night and early this morning before the dawn. Our dreams, if you can call this mind meandering a dream, kept throwing out the word “spronk.” Now, we have command of a pretty large vocabulary, but spronk? It began to bug us, so we got up, turned on the light, got out the Oxford dictionary and the Webster dictionary and guess what? There is no such word! Ta Da! We had a new word–coined or whatever–and we broke it down where it could be a noun, a verb, an adjective…really anything we wanted it to be. Next, in our foggy state after crawling back into bed, we started making up sentences using it. And you know what? It could be and is one cool word. We’ll share our word with you because we just know Webster will pick up on it, it is that good.

SPRONK (n.) He/she is a spronk. Individual with limited capacity for intelligent and deductive thinking. (v.) The man spronked around trying to appear he knew what he was doing to any watchers. (adj.) People are given to presenting a facade when in fact they are lame, spronking individuals. (expletive) Dumb spronker.

When we got up with the sun, spronk was still playing with our thoughts. We met our friend in another city neither of us was too familiar with, distanced, wore masks, ordered take-out, and sat in our individual cars to chat and eat–safely distanced. It was a frustrating experience as we so wanted the forbidden human touch contact– a hug, squeeze of a hand–you know. And the word spronk popped up in our head when we were talking with her. We talked about those that we had both experienced in this time of safe distancing at grocery stores when necessary trips had to be made. How some would not wear a mask, not observe distancing, and be less than nice about running you over in line or in an aisle. Yeah, real spronks. We were both dismayed, angered by their lack of caring and awareness of the virus that surrounds us all. A true spronk is truly a threat to us all and themselves. We talked of Darwin’s natural selection and were sad that some gene pools can breed the idiots much faster than those who can think can reproduce. Again, the word spronk flitted through our thoughts. But the conversation was good, encouraging, a meeting of the minds, and we sadly waved good-bye to each other as we parted in our individual cars. Alone in our car on the way home, we kept thinking, “Stupid spronkers are going to make this last longer and kill us all while their lame spronking saves their miserable lives because their DNA is as spronked as their minds!” We also added other well known words but there is no need to repeat them here.

We got home, removed our mask, and the man across the street caught our attention. We saw he was trying to mow his lawn with an old worn out power lawn mower. His literally pulling on his hair looked like it might be fun to watch so we sat down on the front porch in the shade and proceeded to play observer. A single crow cawed at us, flew up to perch on the the lamp post, and watched with us. Now this guy was a true spronk in every sense of the word. We knew this was going to be good so we settled in. The guy started the mower and made two swaths across his front yard. The mower bogged, choked, and quit. He tried to restart it with no luck. Mentally, we are telling him, “First check your gas level. Then the oil. Then look under the mower.” He did none of these things. Instead, the spronk wrestled the grass catcher off the back of the mower, looked at it, and shook out a little grass into his waiting garbage bin. Now we are laughing. Mentally, we repeat, “Check your gas, then…” but he already had the mower tipped up and looking under it. Okay. Jump right in–spronk. He kicked the underside with his boot and we could hear some words, but we couldn’t make them out–no matter. His son had come out to see what was happening and by his motions we could tell he wanted the boy to try to start the mower–While he was looking under it! At this point, we pulled our cell phone out of our pocket so we could dial 911 if he chopped his spronking head off in this little escapade. The boy was not big enough to get a good pull on the rope (thank the universe) and retreated into the house. The mower was now lying on its side and we could see the grass packed around and on the blades. The temptation was to yell, “Clean your blades, then the grass packed around them.” But just as we were getting ready to yell, he looked up, saw us looking at him, and slammed the mower back into an upright position. The spronk, who had been spronking around with the mower, was trying to look “good” and proceeded to shove the non-running lawn mower toward his open garage door. Well, so much for mowing the grass. Then he came out with a weed eater. He watched us, we watched him, and he weed whacked his whole front lawn. We just smiled. And we knew why we had thought of the word spronk during the night and early morning.

It was foretold for us to coin the word spronk. It was one of those things just meant to be. That’s why we are so sure Webster’s will add it to their dictionary. We mean, seriously–what better word to describe the people we talked about with our friend and the scene we had just witnessed across the street? So if you need a word, we will let you share and use it. You have to admit–it really is one cool word and no one can get mad at you for using it because they won’t understand what it means. Boy oh boy! Can’t wait to close our eyes tonight! We hope the next word is as cool!

2 thoughts on “#25 Spronk

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